Florida Pee-Party

Typical. People think that those on welfare are all lazy, uneducated drug addicts that want a handout. What a stuck-up, elitist attitude. As a tax-paying citizen, I hope my money isn't wasted on a BUNCH OF CLEAN PEE-PEE. Oh, and how convenient that Rick Scott's drug testing (among other services offered) company, Solantic, was sold to his wife weeks before he brought this idea to the State. This is one of those ideas, like smaller class sizes in schools, which sounds good in theory, but is actually a complete waste of tax payer dollars. Smaller class sizes SOUNDS GREAT-but who will fund the extra teachers for those extra classes? Drug testing welfare applicants sounds great, but who is paying for the clean pee? Tax payers.

Before & After: Religion Class Act

God calls us ALL, not just the know-it-alls. He doesn't care how well-versed you are in the Bible. As someone who was born and raised Catholic, it surprises me that those who call themselves Christian are the ones who act like they are in some exclusive fraternity and everyone else is beneath them due to not believing in what they believe. God gave us all FREE will. People will decide what they believe, on their terms. Forcing someone to change to believe what you do is not what God intended.

Hurricane Irene for President?

Why not name hurricanes after politicians? They wreak havoc on the states they enter, cost tax payers money, and cause uncertainty for the people’s lives they are about to ruin. Stormy, lots of wind, and no telling what path they will take. No matter how well one prepares for them, they cause damage. The only remedy: load up on beer, stay close to family and friends, and say a prayer.

Keep Dreamin'

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."
Martin Luther King Jr.
This is still a dream of many people in our nation. No matter what color someone is in today’s society, a person is typically judged by what they look like, how much money is in the bank, how famous he or she is, and what car one drives. Unfortunately, it seems as though what is on the surface is what is important, and taking the time to become a decent human being is put to the wayside. Hard-working, honest, trustworthy people rarely make the news headlines. Whether people agree with all of Martin Luther King Junior’s teachings and ideas, most are in agreement that many people in our country are lacking in character and moral values. It is the responsibility of parents, teachers, and adults to teach and model good moral character. Hopefully, sooner than later, his dream can be made a reality.

San Francisco Treat

The San Francisco board of supervisors has voted by a veto-proof margin to ban Happy Meals that have foods containing excess sugar and fats. The LA Times states, "under the ordinance, scheduled to take effect in December 2011, restaurants may include a toy with a meal if the food and drink combined contain fewer than 600 calories, and if less than 35% of the calories come from fat." The new ordinance also requires Happy Meals (meals containing toys) to have a serving of a fruit of vegetable in the meal.
Considering that at least half of American adults, and almost one-third of American children are overwieght, including fruit or vegetables in Happy Meals seems like a great idea. On the other hand, consumers have their right to choose what to stuff their faces with, even if it is as the expense of their child's health. Parents don't want the government making choices for them (especially when it comes to their kids), but many others believe that due to the obesity epidemic in America government needs to step in and regulate what people eat.
Here's the thing: many parents are NOT responsible for their health, or their kids' health. Here's a concept: make your own sandwiches. Buy some fruit. Drink WATER. Your children will thank you later-when they are not overwieght, suffering from diabetes, and having heart problems.
Parents are not entirely to blame. McDonalds has put toys in Happy Meals for years, knowing that children will ask for the meal to get the toy. McDonalds could add fruit and vegetables to the meals, and still give the toy, but they more than likely think that without the addictive sugar, fat, and additives, kids won't want the Happy Meals.
Consumers have a right to chose what they want to eat. San Fransisco's local government is simply trying to reverse the widespread disease of obesity in this country. Too bad people cannot just eat healthy and choose wisely. The government should not have to butt in on this issue-or decide what consumers should buy. Hopefully this is the start of a nation wide movement of people deciding for themselves to eat healthy and choose healthy foods for their kids.

I Can Afford To Be Suze Orman For Halloween

So, Halloween is a day away, and adults all across America are scrambling for a costume. Adults...scrambling...for costumes? My husband said it best when he said that adults should be one thing for Halloween: adults. Stop wasting money in this economy on cat ears, slutty nurse costumes, Spiderman outfits, and buy yourself some dignity. Unless that doctor at your friend's Halloween party claiming to have gone to Yale shows you his diploma, run, don't walk to the next barrell to bob for apples.

Going to a Halloween party is not out of the question. Going to a Halloween party dressed as a Jersey Shore character at the age of 30 is not only out of the question, it is downright embarrassing. Stop it! It's not cute. It's pathetic. Put the money you are going to spend on Situation's foam abs in a B-A-N-K account. Instead of Googling, "Halloween costumes", Google, "Credit Union". Or call Suze Orman, she will tell you if you can really afford to look like a slut for 5 hours on October 31st.

Whatever you do, don't give in to the pressure. Not everyone's doing it (hopefully). Stay home and watch the History Channel like a real adult (okay, don't be THAT boring), or CNBC's To Catch A Predator (at least you will know whose house to NOT send your kids to Trick-or-Treat). If you HAVE to dress up, pretend to be someone with a little common sense. Steven Slater. Nancy Grace. Jon Stewart. Keep Halloween classy, people.

So, when you are downing your 3rd Pumpkin Martini at So-and-So's costume party, remember that the guy hitting on you is not a doctor. He is a community college dropout living in his parent's basement. Tell him to Google, "Suze Orman's Can I Afford It?" Then be prepared to lend him your cell phone to call her show. Because, let's face it, he spent all his hard earned McDonald's money on that pair of scrubs not an iPhone. Now go buy 10 packs of Crest White Strips, an amazing shiny pink jacket, and the shortest I'm-not-a-lesbian-blond wig you can find. And be prepared to get a whole lot of annoying, "Who-are-you-supposed-to-be?" type questions. But who cares, at least you could afford your costume.

"What if this is as good as it gets?" Melvin Udall

Jack Nicholson won an Oscar for his portrayal of Melvin Udall in the Oscar nominated film, "As Good As It Gets." He portrayed a man with OCD who was so set in his ways that he was avoiding love, friendship, and enjoyment in his life. Many Floridians who are voting November 2nd may feel like Melvin; stuck in their political ways, avoiding feeling love for any political figure, and not enjoying the state of the economy. With the upcoming Florida Governor election, has the state of Florida recognized the best of the best when it comes to who can run the Sunshine State?

No matter what party in which one is affiliated, a registered voter has to wonder, "Do I really want to vote for this person?" Does Rick Scott (R) really get a voter fired up about the future of the state? Does Alex Sink (D) really have the trust of voters from Pensacola to the Florida Keys? Sigh. A man accused of fraud, and a woman accused of being responsible for the sub prime mortgage flop is all we could drudge up to run the peninsula. Is this as good as it gets?

For those who did not see the 1997 film, Melvin was stubborn. So are voters. Melvin was a complainer. So are voters. Melvin was cranky. So are voters. The only person to blame for Melvin's life not going in the direction he wished it would go, was Melvin himself. Sound familiar, voters? The only people to blame for the two major party candidates on the ballot are the Melvins of Florida. The stubborn, complaining, cranky voters, who begrudgingly vote for their party candidate in the primary, then are less than excited when it comes time in the general election. Same story, different ballot.

Melvin's story, however, has a happy ending. Not a fairy tale, over the top, romantic ending, but a happy one. Melvin softens and falls for Carol, a waitress played by Helen Hunt. He befriends a homosexual artist named Simon. Melvin was able to overcome his need to insult everyone who crossed his path.

So, on November 2nd, take a good look at your ballot. Do you really want to vote for a candidate who is as good as it gets? It is hard to believe that out of all the eligible people in Florida, the list of candidates is less than impressive. Voters rely on their neighbors to vote for a party candidate, instead of rallying together for a middle class, family oriented, personable citizen to run for office. It's time Floridians realize that in order to have the state they want, they need to change. It's time for the Sunshine State to have its happy ending. And if Melvin can change, anyone can.