Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Tebow
Sorry to all who are so offended by others who are fans of a certain football player. It must be awful for you that people like a decent person and you can't handle it. It must also be awful that your girlfriend thinks he's cute. That probably really adds to your hatred. Also adding to the hatred is the fact that he makes millions a year. Have you seen that website dedicated to a pose coined by his name? He also has a plaque at this college in Florida he went to with a speech he gave while he was a student-athlete engraved on it. He even flies to 3rd world countries to give clean water, medicine, and food to starving children. He's led his NFL team to 7 wins out of its last 9 games. I bet you still hate him. Good for you. It must make you feel great to spend time disliking someone so much that your status updates on Facebook are themed around wanting a quarterback to lose the game. Remember your girlfriend who thinks he’s cute? Get off Facebook and take her out to dinner. She thinks you’re really weird spending all this time online talking about some guy you don’t even like. Haven't you heard? Misery loves company. So, start spending time hating who she hates: anyone she thinks is prettier than she is.
Vanilla
Good thing it was cold recently in Iowa. Six flavors of vanilla needed to chill.
How does vanilla sound? Pretty good. How about low-fat vanilla? Too much soft-serve last week? Maybe this week you're in the mood for sugar-free vanilla frozen yogurt. What's that in the back of the freezer section — vanilla with freezer burn? Well, if it's the last carton, guess we have no other choice. Since all the other popular flavors with actual substance are unavailable, vanilla it is. All served in the same red bowl.
Wait. What's that? A choice that everyone is afraid to try because they know it will be so good? Well, if you hurry to the store, a pint-sized container of Jon Huntsman Jubilee is in the back of the freezer. It might take a while to find, as it's behind all the vanilla no one really wants to bring home.
How does vanilla sound? Pretty good. How about low-fat vanilla? Too much soft-serve last week? Maybe this week you're in the mood for sugar-free vanilla frozen yogurt. What's that in the back of the freezer section — vanilla with freezer burn? Well, if it's the last carton, guess we have no other choice. Since all the other popular flavors with actual substance are unavailable, vanilla it is. All served in the same red bowl.
Wait. What's that? A choice that everyone is afraid to try because they know it will be so good? Well, if you hurry to the store, a pint-sized container of Jon Huntsman Jubilee is in the back of the freezer. It might take a while to find, as it's behind all the vanilla no one really wants to bring home.
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